Dreaming of a Different Ending
by Whisperheart
Summary: Remus Lupin always loved one girl before Tonks. And he always dreamed that things had turned out differently, especially on one dark night... I suck at descriptions. x Please read. Death is involved.


_**Someday- I just keep pretending, **_

_**That you'll stay dreaming of a different ending. **_

_**I wanna hold on, but it hurts so bad, **_

_**And I can't keep something, that I never had.**_

_**~Something I Never Had by Lindsay Lohan**_

_**Dreaming of a Different Ending**_

_**October 31, 1981**_

Remus Lupin was quietly looking at an old photo album in his untidy apartment. Remus grinned as he came to a photo of four young schoolboys. James Potter stood in the center. With a mess of jet-black hair and gleaming hazel eyes behind round glasses, his smile was that of a trouble-maker. His arm was a round a plumber, short boy's shoulder. The boy's cropped light hair and watery blue eyes made him look like a mouse. _'Dear old Peter Pettigrew.' _Remus thought. Sirius Black stood on Peter's other side; his long black hair framed a carefree, handsome face.

Remus himself sat in front. His robes were shabby and faded, but that didn't keep Remus from rolling his eyes and laughing in the photo. His shaggy brown hair fell in his face- hiding the thin red scars from his most recent full moon transformation. Staring fondly at the photo of the friends who helped him deal with his lycanthropy, Remus scratched his chin. Six long years had passed since the photo had been taken when they were seventeen. Flipping the page Remus's heart gave a lurch.

Next to a sixteen year old version of himself was a beautiful girl. She laughed with tears in her eyes, as her vivid red hair fell in waves. The waves framed her pale face, which was sprinkled with freckles. Her mouth was set in a grin as she tried to control her laughter for the camera. Her striking eyes stood out the most. Beautiful green eyes. Lily Evans- his biggest regret.

_**Summer 1974- Hogwarts**_

_As exams drew nearer the firth, sixth, and seventh year students were immersed in their studies. Teachers poured on the homework. No one left in the castle was not working. The trash bins overflowed with parchment. It became a common trait for the older kids to have ink smears coating their arms. School was almost done. _

_On one corner of the Hogwarts grounds there is a tree. A beautiful willow- that gives whomever sits under it the perfect mix of shade and sunlight. A few feet away the soft grass changes to bleached sand. The water laps peacefully on the bank. A week before exams the sun fell down on the tree, washing it in golden rays. Two students sat underneath. One's heart was about to break. _

_They were both sixteen, and closer friends then they tended to admit. The boy was absorbed in his copy of __Advanced Potion-Making__. His shaggy light brown hair fell around his pale face, his light blue eyes moving quickly across the page. The boy had on lose, patched robes, with chocolate bars sticking out from the pockets. His name was Remus Lupin. He loved the girl with all his heart. He thought himself a coward, because he couldn't bring himself to tell her. His eyes lifted from the page to watch her. _

_The girl had her fair, heart-shaped face cupped in her hands, tilted up toward the sun. The few freckles that were sprinkled across her nose only added to her young beauty. Her piercing green eyes were closed, and her red hair streamed out behind her. A book lay discarded at her side. Her name was Lily Evans._

_As she turned to look at him Remus returned his gaze to the page. _

_"Remus?" _

_"Yeah?"_

_"Pass me my bag please. Or, wait, just open the front pocket. You see that camera? Pass it to me. I need a photo." Lily said sitting up, tucking her legs underneath her._

_Remus grabbed the camera and tossed it to her. He knew his best friend James was watching them. If he saw Remus lay even a finger on Lily he'd be dead. James only tolerated the friendship because he thought it would help him get to Lily. Remus hoped with all his heart that his friend's attentions would soon turn to another._

_Lily pursed her lips fussing with the device. The sunglasses perched atop her head slid down the bridge of her nose, and she tossed them to the side. As the camera suddenly flashed a let out an electronic beep, she jumped into the air. He laughed. _

_"You look like Kettleburn when the Niffler charged him yesterday."  
_

_Lily burst out laughing at the memory of the professor's face. Scooting over to him she fixed the camera so it had both of them in view. The camera flashed again as the two friends laughed. Setting aside his textbook Remus offered her a bit of chocolate. Accepting the piece of chocolate Lily studied him quietly. _

_"I have something to tell you Remus. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it."_

_Remus picked up the camera and framed it around her. It was the perfect shot: hair rippling out behind her, with the sun's light catching on the lake behind her. Suddenly Remus felt a strong rush of emotion. He was a Gryffindor-supposed to be brave. He would tell her. _

_"I need to tell you something too." _

_Lily stretched out and waved to her friends Marlene and Alice across the lawn. "You go first then Rem." _

_Remus gulped and then said rather suddenly. "I love you, Lily." _

_She turned to look at him, a small smile playing across her face. She leaned over and kissed his cheek and tousled his hair. "You know I love you as well. You're like my older brother, Rem."_

_Lily was a sweet person and had no intention of hurting him. In all, honestly she did not even think he loved her in the way he did. Remus looked at the girl who had his heart. He was breaking inside. He felt like someone had drenched him with ice water. But Lily was watching him. He'd tried and failed. 'Move on, feel disappointed later.' He told himself._

_"Good. I'm glad. What did you want to tell me?" he asked changing the subject._

_"Well," Lily began, "Ever since we started hanging out I've been thinking." _

_"Dangerous Lil'" Remus joked weakly._

_"Oh shut it. Anyway, I've been thinking that if a decent guy like you hangs out with him maybe I should give James Potter a chance…" _

_The sixteen year-old boy's heart bled._

_**October 31, 1981**_

Remus turned the page and saw the photo of Lily he'd taken that day. The wind played with her hair and she waved at him. Underneath he'd written in his neat scrawl: **Lily Evans-Hogwarts, summer 1974.** The next pages were a little less painful. When he reached the pictures of James and Lily's wedding and little Harry he shut the album. His heart had been in enough pain then. Finishing the coffee he was drinking Remus leaned back on the couch. He felt a headache coming on. For a few minutes all was quiet.

Then a silver Patronus appeared in front of him. It was a doe-Lily's- and it was trembling as her voice passed through its lips. Usually soft and sweet, Lily's voice tumbled out high-pitched with fear.

"Oh, my God. He's here! He's here! Oh, please Remus help us! He's here, in the house- coming for us! For Harry! Please help!" she was sobbing and sounded more frightened then he had ever heard her. "Please come Remus please! I've locked myself up here in with Harry- in his room. James is dead!" Her voice broke on this note. "Please Remus help us!" she screeched as a loud bang echoed in the background.

Jumping to his feet Remus ran out the door and Apparated. Godric's Hollow was quiet. He could see the house up ahead. The door hung open, lights still on, and part of the second story had collapsed in on itself. Sprinting up the path he felt dread set in. The home was silent, he was too late.

James lay on the staircase, sprawled out, caught off guard. His glasses were askew and his hair was untidy as usual. Blood trickled from his lips. _'Oh Prongs, mate, I'm sorry.'_ Remus thought. Glancing into the living room he saw Prongs's wand. He picked it up and placed it by his friend's still form. Remus heard a noise upstairs. It sounded like a sniff, someone was crying. Someone was alive!

Sprinting up the stairs he turned right and bolted into Harry's room. This door, too, had been blasted open. Boxes and toys were scattered around the room. Two walls had collapsed. Voldemort had been here. Lily lay on her side in front of the crib.

Kneeling by her side Remus felt for a pulse. Nothing. Her dark red hair was covering her face. Brushing it aside he looked at at her. Wet tears clung to her pale skin and her light green eyes stared sightlessly out at him. Closing her eyes he leaned over and kissed her lips. She was beautiful even in death.

A small cry came from the crib and Remus jumped to look. Little Harry stared up at him tearfully. Lily and James's son. Blood oozed from a cut on his forehead. It would scar… in the shape of a lightning bolt. Remus picked him up and looked into his eyes. This boy didn't realize how lucky he was…..

For years later Remus's dreams were haunted by that night. And everytime he awoke he wished for a different ending.

_ is His His _


End file.
